With tearful eyes we watched him suffer
and saw him fade away.
Although we loved him dearly,
We could not make him stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hardworking hands to rest;
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

~Author Unknown~

 

 

It must be very difficult to be a man in grief

Since "Men don't cry" and "Men are strong"

no tears can bring relief.

 

It must be very difficult to stand up to the test,

and field all calls and visitors so "she" can get some rest.

 

They always ask if "She's" alright and what she's going through,

but seldom take his hand and ask "My friend but how are YOU?"

 

He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break,

He dries her tears and comforts her and is strong for her sake.

 

It must be very difficult to start each day anew,

and try to be so very brave

~He Lost His Baby Too~

 

author unknown

 

The Rosebud

On your journey to heaven,
Oh, littlest of angels,
I'll forever give thanks,
You came first to my arms,
Where you lay in warm sweetness

For the briefest of moments,
My name on your bracelet...
Baby boy of my own.
Not even a rosebud,
Nor the first crocus petal,
Could match the soft wonder
Of your small, flowering face...
Though you lingered, oh briefly,
Our torn hearts found comfort,
And your fair, infant presence
Gave our sorrow a grace.
Etched in our memories,
To hold and to treasure,
Are experiences we had not known;
These you gave, in your innocence,
To your mother and father;
And oh, little darling,
We are richer by far,
To have held you a moment,
Then to never to have held you
At all.

~Author Unknown~

 

 Just Because time has passed
doesn't mean that all is fine.
My sadness, and my grief

 Hasn’t diminished with time.

Just Because I am smiling
doesn't mean that I'm not down.
I cry for my little boy
when no one is around.

Just Because I am proud of my "living" baby boy,
doesn't mean I've forgotten
and feel nothing but joy.

My days are filled with sadness,
and many end in tears.
Trying to find a sense of normal
since one baby is not here.

I am a mother to Twins.
I am a mother to Two.
Though you see only one
There is one you never knew. 

 

One Year Ago....  
 
I held his hand, I stroked his hair  
I begged him "Please don't go”
Did he even know that I was there?  
I guess I'll never know..  
 
And now I've spent one year feeling so alone  
Twelve months of utter hell  
I think it's turned my heart to stone  
And my body to just a shell.  
 
I need to scream and shout and cry  
But I don't know where to start  
It's locked so very deep inside  
And it's tearing me apart.  
 
Thinking of You tonight here come the tears
My sunshine, pride and joy  
So today I cry but no-one hears  
I need my little boy.  

 

 

 You ask me how I'm feeling, 
but do you really want to know? 
The moment I try telling you 
You say you have to go 
 
How can I tell you, 
what it's been like for me 
I am haunted, I am broken 
By things that you don't see 
 
You ask me how I'm holding up, 
but do you really care? 
The second I try to speak my heart; 
You start squirming in your chair. 
 
 Everyone avoids me now, 
because they don't know what to say 
They tell me I'll be there for you, 
then turn and walk away. 
 
Call me if you need me, 
that's what everybody said, 
But how can I call you and scream 
into the phone, 
My God, my child is dead? 
 
No one will let me 
say the words I need to say 
Why does a mothers grief 
scare everyone away? 
 
I am tired of pretending 
as my heart pounds in my chest, 
I say things to make you comfortable, 
but my soul finds no rest. 
 
How can I tell you things 
that are too sad to be told, 
of the helplessness of holding a child 
who in your arms grows cold? 
 
You cannot imagine 
what it was like for me that day 
to place a final kiss upon that cheek, 
and have to turn and walk away. 
 
If you really love me, 
and I believe you do, 
if you really want to help me, 
here is what I need from you. 
 
Sit down beside me, 
reach out and take my hand, 
Say "My friend, I've come to listen, 
I want to understand." 
 
Just hold my hand and listen 
that's all you need to do, 
And if by chance I shed a tear, 
it's all right if you do to. 
 
I swear that I'll remember 
till the day I'm very old, 
the friend who sat and held my hand 
and let me bare my soul. 

 

 

 Tears without end 
Days without nights 
Night without day 
Time without forgetting 
Food without taste 
Sleep without rest 
Sorrow without comfort  
Pain without limit 
Emptiness without bottom 
Life without...YOU.

 

BABY CASTLE

 

In a baby castle, high up in the sky

My baby plays with angel toys, that money cannot buy

Who am I to wish him back, in to this world of strife?

No, play on my baby, you have eternal life.

 

At night when all is silent, and sleep forsakes my eyes

I hear his tiny footsteps, come running to my side

His little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet

I breathe a prayer and close my eyes

And embrace them in my sleep.

 

Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other

I have known true glory

I am still his Mother. 

  

I'M STILL HERE

Mother, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, don't you see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the
beach. I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're fond.
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love
you, you can talk to me through the lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves in the trees,
and you'll find my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face,
Just look for me Mother, I'm every place.

 

How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently, only a moment you stayed

But what an imprint
your footsteps have left
upon my heart.

~Dorothy Ferguson, Little Footprints~